Blessed Beyond Measure

I been living in my apartment since August 17, 2009 [[let me say it has not been easy]] but I don’t have cable or internet so other than movies and music it’s mostly quiet at my place. I found out that I’m most comfortable in a peaceful, serene, and relaxing environment. You can’t even imagine how much I have spent on candles… it calms me and my surroundings.
Today I came home from work, straighten up the little bit of mess from this morning, cooked me some dinner, pour me a glass of wine, and ate my meal in the quiet. My mind wander, my thoughts flow freely, my soul was set free. At this moment I realize that everything will be okay. Regardless of the cruelness of the world my father, Jesus Christ, will always be there to protect me. At this moment I realize that I didn’t need sound, noise, or distractions. There is a reason I’m living on my own, a reason I’m single, and a reason I been through hell and back. That is reason was shown today… because I’m happy, content, at peace, and everything in between.
Later I let my ‘’Praise & Worship’’ playlist run through…
(1)I love my young adult choir from church… Voices of Praiz aka VOP always put in down whenever we had to sing. There is one song that I have that ALWAYS puts me in that place. When I listen to this song I feel blessed, thankful, and grateful for my life. I don’t know who recorded it but it’s called “HOLD ON”.
Some of the lyrics:
“I know trails sometimes weigh you down. Searching for the answers they can not be found. Just know that God is on your side, he’ll be there right on time. Don’t worry everything will be alright. Hold on… everything is going work out for you. Hold on… God is going to show up real soon. Hold on… even when you feel misunderstood. Your situation is working out for your good”
“When the tears keep falling from your eyes and the pain you feel is deep inside. Know that God always has you on his mind. When your back is up against the wall and you feel all hope is gone. Know that God is in control and hold on and don’t let go.”

This song always seems to touch my heart. Whenever I play gospel music I make sure that this song plays. I love it. I feel as if God is personally talking to me. I know that no matter what is going on that everything is goin to be alright. I can’t let go but continue to hold on to my faith in God. MY SITUATION is working out because of him and nobody else. Man… you just don’t understand how much I been through. You don’t know my story, my testimony, my journey but know that I’m not the same person. I have changed. I’m still changing. I will continue to change until the day Jesus feels I have reach my full potential then he might have something better/different in store for me.

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Love.

There is a saying that goes “You never know what love truly feels like until you share it with that special person” or maybe that is just what I think.
I been in love.

I want to feel that love again. Either with him or Mr. Right but with someone that can love me back the way I should be loved.



Until next time....